Hey.. I just wanted to tell a few things that have been bugging me for the past 9 months.. I've been wanting to get these off my chest.. I hope you take the time to read these words straight from my heart.
a. I LOVE you. I always have. I think I always will, although I hope not as much as before. You were the one for me, and I'm still so sure of it. I don't think I can ever feel that way ever again (about someone not related to me, at least).
b. I RESPECTED all of the things you went through. I looked up to you since you were so street smart. Note, past tense. Now, I don't look up to you since you have not learned the true meaning of responsibility. Looking on the bright side, you learned how to run away from your problems.
c.I really MISSED you these past few months. I miss telling you everything and being able to count on you listening to me rant about whatever. I miss talking to you whenever we have free time. I miss spending Sunday afternoons with you.
d. I waited even though you thought I gave up. Everytime my phone rang, I kept expecting it was you calling or texting me with an update or an apology, or ANYTHING. Everytime I got a message on Facebook, I hoped it was you saying that you missed me too. Even though I heard and saw things that broke my heart, I still WAITED.
e. I FOUGHT for you. Whatever other people told me about you, about us, I never listened. I BELIEVED that whatever wrongs we had as individuals and as a unit, we'd work through it TOGETHER. I moved mountains just so I could be with you. I defied people I cared about just for you.
f. I DEVELOPED a set of values to prepare for whatever was to come. I learned to do well in work and to save money (especially since I paid for almost everything when we went out). I learned to value any amount, no matter how small so I could help your lazy ass.
g. I have no
h. I have no
i. I'm HAPPY now, You gave me the best gift you could ever give me. I now have the most amazing baby boy ever. He's handsome, and noisy, and my PRIDE AND JOY. FYI, I'm glad he looks like me. I'm hoping he also has my brains and my personality. Unfortunately, he has your ears. But I love him unconditionally. Your name isn't in his birth certificate, so he has my last name. I'm still wondering what I'll tell him about his father when he asks me about you later on. Maybe I'll stick to the original plan: that his father's dead. I don't need you to forgive me for saying that since it's true in more ways than one. His mom and grandma will raise him with all the love and care in the world. He will be the luckiest little bugger in the whole world.
Thank you for our wonderful time together. But I will have to forget them. From now on, I will bury all those memories six feet under erase all traces of you from my life. For my sanity, and for my son's well-being. I know you will not go looking for us, because that's not in your nature, and for that I am thankful. I wish you well in your endeavors and hope that you learn to take responsibility for your actions and GROW A PAIR OF BALLS. I also hope that your parents won't go looking for us. They can't ask me to let them be proper grandparents since they DON'T KNOW what that role calls for.
Thank you for also teaching me how to tell the difference between fake and real friends. Now I know which people actually care about me because they stuck by me.
Hoping I don't run into your sorry ass ever again.
Sincerely,
Me
