i'd probably tell you that i can't sleep because i have been asleep since dinner, but who am i BS-ing? :)) it's a curse! my brain just won't shut the hell down!
reminds of this one discussion long ago in some class. that humans always strive to look for or have the best things in life. no matter what we have, we are never really content. we only realize we had the best all along when we have lost it.
"never is love's true depth known until the pain of separation."
what do we look for? things that we can't live without or things that we can't bear to lose? they may sound the same, but when you think about it, they are way different. the first entails survival: what can't we survive without. the second is more sentimental. i only realized the difference fairly recently.. thanks to a series of unfortunate events caused by yours truly.
why is human nature just so complicated? say one thing, mean another. do one thing, want another outcome. i'm boggled, but i do it. don't know why. and i thought i was pretty straightforward. i used to condemn those who never mean what they and say what they mean, then oh-hoh! i joined the club. i used to hate people like my dad, now i realize we're one and the same.
curse be the ramblings of a 20-year-old nerd! but hey, at least i got it out.. :D
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